Go Speed Racer Go

8 months ago today, I was recovering from a c-section and hooked up to a morphine pump, which I didn't like very much, when I was wheeled to Mother/Baby from the recovery room.  I was so happy when my favorite night nurse walked in.  I had been in the hospital for a month prior, so I was able to get to know the nurses well.

Pierre made some phone calls and turned on the tv.  I wished I had made it to term, and that there was a little bassinet next to my bed.  I was in a unit called "Mother/Baby," except there was no baby with me.  Instead, my son was on the other side of the hallway in the NICU.  I was worried about my baby (he was still nameless at this point.)  I knew he was being poked and prodded in the NICU.  In the delivery room we were informed he was missing a piece of his skull bone, the skin was intact, but the bone was missing.  Not only was he born at 24 weeks, but now we had to deal with the fact there could be something terribly wrong.  I worried he would not survive.  On top of that worry was the fear he could die before I could be with him.  My last 2 pregnancies ended with a funeral, how could I think this would be any different.  I couldn't lose three boys in a row.  I had many people praying for us.  There was hope.

All I had was a brief moment with him after delivery as the neonatal doctor held him and showed us his skull deformity.  I didn't even get to touch him.

The next morning, I wanted to get out of my bed as soon a possible.  I wanted to make it to the NICU before rounds.  I needed to see my little man.  He was so tiny, just 1 pound, 8 ounces and 12 1/2 inches long.  The nurses called him feisty.  That was a good sign.  Back in my room (before I started Googling "skull deformity") we looked at all the pictures Pierre took and decided on his name.  I had a rather long list, but I knew he was my Linus.  I have always wanted a Linus (and not because I have a Lucie.)

My little miracle is now over 12 pounds.  We made it through 3 months in the NICU.  We survived a scare, including a call to 911 and an ambulance ride back to the hospital after Linus was home for 2 weeks.  We made it through reflux, breathing treatments, and bi-weekly eye exams.  We are very blessed that we haven't had to deal with anything more than that.  Linus is doing great with physical therapy and wearing his helmet.  Soon, this too will be a distant memory.

That missing piece of skull bone?  It grew in before Linus was discharged from the NICU.  Like I said, Linus is a miracle.